All the Little Things

As the first month of Anni's second year slips by, I've been straining to catch these fleeting "little" moments.  I feel like every time I blink, Miss Anni grows a little taller, gets a little smarter and becomes just a little more independent from her mama.  I love watching her grow up, I'm proud of her.  Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in one of those dreams where I woke up married, with a baby and couldn't remember how I had gotten there.  This life is much sweeter than those dreams: I know how I got here.  I loved a boy, and that boy loved me, and we got married and from our love came a baby: a sweet, itty bitty little girl.  She grins when I walk in the door and wraps her arms around my neck when she's scared.  She loves being loved and would read books all day if there wasn't hide and seeking to be done.  When we walk outside her whole face lights up.  She'll spend serious concentrated lengths of time with the carrier, trying to put it on herself so we can go out again.  She doesn't get to go outside as often as she deserves.  I love watching her discover.  I love her sweetness and as much as they frustrate me, I think her little fits are hilarious.  I love that when you ask her for kisses, she leans her forehead in to be kissed and claps when you've done so.  I love that she loves pickles and eats them first, unless there is yogurt to be had... then that wins.  I love what she has done to me and who she has made me.  There aren't words enough to explain my love for this girl.  Sweet girl, I'd do anything for you.

   

You are allowed to like yourself

Somewhere along the way, earlier than you think, something, someone whispered that you weren't good enough.

And from then on, you always felt a little guilty when you were proud of yourself, or when you wanted to share your accomplishments.

I'm going to share something with you, though, and you can tell anyone you'd like.

You can like yourself, really.  You can be proud of the things you do well without taking anything away from other people who also do things well.  And in turn, they can be proud of the things they do well, without in any way damaging you.

It's so simple, really, but it took me a long time to learn that hiding what we love about ourselves does no one any favors. 

So, I'm going to start... but I want to hear what you love about yourself as well.  Post it in a comment, blog about it, tweet about it, you are beautiful, special and unique and it's okay to say so!

I love:

- that I like to take care of people.
- that I can cook a good meal.
- that I've come so far in my photography, and yeah, I'm good at it.
- that I'm raising a happy baby.
- that I have unique handwriting
- that I sing well
- that I look good in red
- that my husband thinks I'm cute and maybe I am :)

Okay, now I want to hear yours.  Tell me what you love about yourself!

Sweet baby love

Those of you that follow both of my blogs will recognize this from my photography blog, because it's the photographer in me that loves every grainy, dimly lit inch of this photograph of a daddy loving his girl.  But, it's the momma and wife in me too.  Seriously, though this is the one I want her to see when she's 23 and wants to get married.  If she ever needs to know how much her daddy loves her, this picture says it all.

[And if curiosity gets the better of you, this was late this evening when we had to retape her oxygen to her face long after she'd been asleep.  Poor girl was very confused afterwards and daddy just snuggled her back to sleep with this loving smile on his face the whole time.]

Recuperating

If you missed the last blog, I'll catch you up.
Nugget + Bronchialitis = hospital visit and oxygen.


We had our followup yesterday and the hope is that she'll be holding her own again by Tuesday and we can get rid of the tubes.  She seems a lot more cheerful and herself today.  I missed that little quirky girl while she was off being sick and cranky.  Not that she's not still a little cranky (as I type this, she headed into the downward spin cry, guess it's time for naps!)   

I was discussing Anni having to be in the hospital and my husband told me, "All kids are in the hospital sometimes, it's party of childhood."  I had never been from the time I was born until my pregnant self landed there with kidney stones.  He; however, had severely broken bones, tonsils to get removed and an illness or two that left him hospitalized.  So, what about you... did you spend time in the hospital when you were a kid?    



Okay, must go lie the babe down. 

See?  Much better!

Is this real life?

There must be something about her birthday that makes her feel the need to be in the hospital scaring the spit out of mommy and daddy.

Cuz, that's what she did.

Okay, to be fair it was the day after her birthday.  We went to the doctor to have her rather nasty sounding cough checked out.  I've done this a few times this winter and expected the same answer as before (that she's fine and we just need to wait it out).  No such luck.  7 hours in the hospital later, we were back on oxygen with a very tired little sickie.

Yeah, that tank is huge.  When she came home on oxygen last year, we only had the small tanks... which worked because she was only on a tiny little whiff.  She's on a bit more now, so this baby is now sitting in our hallway with tubing rolled all over the apartment (it's kind of sweet not to have to carry a tank every time we move her).

Luckily, we've got a tough little girl that will be healthy again soon and some amazing friends who brought us food so we can easily avoid the whole "oxygen in the kitchen" thing.  (The rule 6-8 feet away from the stove is tough when that part of your your apartment isn't much bigger than that.)

The parallels to last year are kind of funny.  We'll laugh about it someday.

Unexpected hospital visit?  Check
Oxygen?  Check
Anni cancelling a big trip?  Check

Ah... life.  And I'm going to end on a non-canula'd face, because hopefully we'll be back there soon.

And celebrate we did!

We partied.  We got up in the morning and drove North to begin preparations.  Somehow, we all ended up crashing my mother-in-law's hair appointment and getting haircuts (and by we, I mean my mom, mother-in-law, Daniel's grandmother and myself).  The hair stylist she goes to did Daniel's very first haircut and even gave him the haircut he had for our wedding.  It's a tradition and I love it.  When Anni's little mullet get's a little too shaggy, Paula is the one we're visiting :).

 

The rest of the morning was spent baking cute little cakes and cupcakes and getting the decorations ready.  There was no specific theme, just happiness, spring and lots of yellow (did you know that's my favorite color?  It is.)

Oh, and we took plenty of breaks for Miss Anni to chow down on her new favorite foods: kiwi and strawberry.

And then, the rest of the party was food, love, tears and all that good stuff.  

She even had some little buddies who blew bubbles and kept her fascinated (she much prefers watching little people to anyone else). 

And, lest you think we deprived her of sugar, there was plenty.  She went after the cake most definitely in her way.  One finger to test it out.  We helped her a little so she knew it was okay, but in the end she mostly wanted the dots on top (which, a warning, we had to remove because we realized they don't really dissolve in her mouth... not exactly safe, so no more of those).

Sweet Nugget, I'm so proud of you for how much you've grown.  Today at exactly 5:43 pm, we're going to snuggle and talk about a year ago.  I'm probably going to cry, and that's okay.  We made it, my Antonia, and we're so glad you're here.  We love you, Happy Birthday!

Mother's Day

I am blessed to have a mama that has always been there for me, especially when my own baby decided to come early.  So, Happy Mother's Day to my mama and to all mothers.

And special love to the baby who made me a mama :).

Celebrations

Tomorrow morning, we'll all get up just as the sun begins to peek over the horizon, because that's how our Nugget likes it recently.  We'll load all kinds of party things into our cars, and spend the morning getting girly haircuts (um, for the girls) and baking cakes and cupcakes and setting out pretty little favor boxes.

And the thing is, I know she won't remember this day.  But I will, and I'm so ready to party and celebrate the fact that we made it a year... that this little girl is so not letting the word "premature" define her and that we, as her parents, have survived the sleepless nights and reveled in the baby chuckles. 

Plus, it's an excuse to eat yummy treats and watch a baby destroy a piece of cake.

 
She is so loved.  (And I LOVE this photo - thank you to Jenny Hanlon Photography for our family pictures!)

Growing and Changing

 As of Monday, Daniel started working in a whole new way.  As in, not just around the corner anymore.  As in, in a gorgeous new building... that is at least 35 minutes away.  No more little lunches at home and no more seeing Daddy five minutes after he gets off work.  Other than the fact that the building is absolutely amazing and perfect for the company he works, I'll admit to being a little bummed out.  Luckily, when we move in July we'll be quite a bit closer.

In the meantime, Little Nugget is ever-nearing her birthday and I've learning to revel even more in her growth.  Sometimes she just snuggles into my shoulder and I realize what a beautiful gift I've been given and the stress of running a business from home while raising a baby just melts away.

Her birthday party is on Saturday, and I've been gathering all the supplies for it.  I hope it's lovely.  I know she won't remember it, but I do think a little bit of this party is for Daniel and I... to breathe a little sigh of relief that we survived the first year.  We've got a long way to go, but by golly, we're going to celebrate every chance we've got.

We've started to get creative with food, and I love it!  As you can see, she adores rice... but the kid makes a ginormous mess with it, so maybe not every night.  I love watching her try new foods.  She surprised me by thinking kiwi is the greatest gift she's ever been given and tonight ate pasta and shredded chicken with cautious excitement (meaning she's the slowest eater ever with finger food, but we just give her the time and let her eat what she wants in between spoon feeding). 

 

Possibly the highlight of my week was Anni creating her own hide-and-go-seek.  One of us hides behind the door (which she will swing so you can't see her) and then when you peek out she stares, cackles like crazy, flops on her tummy and runs (er... crawls really fast) away.  I love, love, love hearing her laugh.  It makes me want to scoop her up and kiss her a thousand times just so I can remember these moments.  I want her to always know she's loved.

 

We're also working on standing a lot.  She can't pull herself up, but this girl can hold her own against a wall!  I know she's behind on walking, but I'm really not worried at all.  She'll get there in her own little way just like she's done everything else.  Because, as much as I'm raising her, she's teaching me a whole lot about slowing down and taking time to grow.  We're going to get there together, this girl and I.