The Little Things...

Right now I'm loving:

Sisterly love, and our newly painted guest room. I want to paint everything grey now, I love it!

Colette's face after finally figuring out how to move the scooter on her own. So proud and excited! 

Anni's imagination. I love watching her think and create her own little games. 

Red boots. Every day, every way. 

Band-aids on every scratch, imaginary and real. Jane Austen Band-aids only make it better.

Walks around the block, the girls picking dandelions, and practicing all of their moves (marching, chasse-ing, running, skipping and all that good stuff.)

Walking out to see this. 

and, finally, getting to watch our beauties grow. I am far from the perfect parent, but I am so grateful for the chance to be a mother to two sweet girls.

Taking a walk...

I took a long walk.  A long, chilly, walk, if I must be honest.  I came to a few conclusions on that walk, and a whole lot of non-conclusions. 

I am not a runner.  I'm definitely a walker, at least at this point in my life.  Sure, I'd love to be a part of that elite group of people who enjoy a nice long run, who pound out 5ks before breakfast, heck before their babies wake up, but, I'm not, and may never be. I walk.

As I walked, I watched the suns slip behind the mountains.  It was beautiful, and reminded me how lucky I am to get to live in Colorado.  It also made me miss my family; because, while Kansas may not have mountains, it houses most of my family, and, they really are more precious even than Colorado beauty.  However; a husband that loves his work and the people he works with as well as keeping the babies near their other set of grandparents... all important factors that keep us here.

Then, I circled around the elementary school and worried more about Anni's schooling.  Yes, we're doing a wee bit of homeschooling for preschool, but, if I'm being a totally honest mama here, I don't love it.  It's hard to imagine paying the rather steep tuition for the Catholic schools in the area; however, especially as I grew up in a diocese where Catholic educations is all funded by stewardship.  If we were there, Anni would be going to whichever school in the diocese was closest.  They're great schools with great teachers.  Unfortunately, we aren't living there, nor is it in the cards for us to move anytime soon (as far as I know).  Buuuuut, I also am less than comfortable with our public school options.  Also, montessori schools, also very intriguing, are equally or more expensive.  That walk included a lot of prayer, and no resolution on the school matter.

Then proceeded the long rambling consideration of what we should do for Lent.  Yes, it starts tomorrow, but there are so many things that I need to improve on, that I've been having a hard time prioritizing.  I think the facebook time has to take a serious hit, and food restrictions are always hard for me (I eat my feelings, it's just a fact).  Welp, I've got about 12 hours to make my decisions.  Here's to a soul-stretching lent!

In between all of this, I just enjoyed a little quiet and a little music (thanks to my husband's much-smarter phone than mine).  I'm definitely a walker, my friends, definitely.

 

Welcome to my week...

I reread the Hobbit for the first time since 4th grade... it went much faster this time.

Anni actually went in the potty four times... three of which she told me beforehand that she *needed* to go, and none preceded by an accident.  We may be taking a step forward in the potty training world!

I had to scrub the entire bathroom down with bleach yesterday.  A) I hate using bleach.  B) It was necessary.  C) You can throw your shoulder out plunging a toilet... just a forewarning.

I got sick with a nice, basic cold.  That basic cold made feel like death warmed over the first night, migraine included, but has actually been pretty mild otherwise, which is awesome because normally it takes me several weeks to get past a cold.

I'm putting together a couple "boxes of sunshine"; however, it seems all the people I'm putting them together for have necessary dietary restrictions (gf/low sugar etc)... so any thoughts on adorable (yellow & happy) things to include would be lovely, as most examples include a lot of candy.  

My sister will be having her little guy any day now!  I'm still amazed by the amount of things she gets done being 40+ weeks pregnant (there is no procrastination bone in her body... I think I got hers in addition to mine).  We were pregnant at the same time during my first pregnancy as well, so I always know I can start my countdown once her baby is born (her third baby and my first - Nugget- were supposed to be born 12 weeks apart and ended up being only six, but these two are supposed to be six weeks apart... so I'm hoping for at least a few more weeks and some time to soak in her sweet little boy's pictures before Lil' Bit makes her debut). 

We've started house hunting!  That's about it... as we have really *just* started, but we're hopeful and excited.

And, just a few of the things on my menu for the week (you can skip this, but I love when people post their menus... it gives me ideas to mull over for the next week): Meatless WW Lasagna & Bread (making an extra with meat to freeze!), Homemade Sloppy Joes (We leave out the brown sugar and replace half of the ketchup with bbq sauce...mmm...), Stew (the best for basic stew because it's so easy to customize and add extra veggies we like... and remove the mushrooms that we both really, really don't like), Cottage pie, Zuppa Toscana (I replace the cream with half and half sometimes... it's delicious both ways!), Chicken Pot-pie Soup (trying for the first time!), Brinner and some kind of chicken and rice casserole.  Yum.  I always love days when we get back from the store, because Anni and I sit down and eat fruit almost immediately (fruit goes fast in our house and seems to run out about a day or so before we can make it to the store again).

I had a newborn shoot pop up this week at the last minute, which meant randomly having a backdrop set up in our living room for a few hours.  Anni got to be my light tester, and while she mostly pulled the backdrop down and tried to lie face first on the ground (it is a pretty soft backdrop in her defense), we pulled off a couple of sweet photos in the space of five minutes. 

There you have it.  A pretty average week in our household.  My goal for today is to love my family and make their day special with a clean house and yummy dinner... barring that, I'll at least try to keep my pregnancy hormones reigned in and be a cheerful wife and mommy :). 

One of the good days

Today was one of those days where I didn't feel like I was failing as a parent.  I love these days.  We started out with a breakfast that went through two outfits (yogurt and applesauce... I should learn just to leave the jammies on until after she finishes those). 

I had a blood draw (oh, did I mention I'm still fighting that darn thyroid?  Yep, but it's sooo much better with some beautiful medicine the last few months) and Anni was amazing through the whole thing.  She sat in seats next to me, talked about what we were doing, rustled through her purse and put sunglasses on (which just makes me smile every time she does it) and was just generally charming.  Then we picked up medicine and italian sausage from the store and headed home to go through a couple more outfits with lunch.

After nap (during which I worked feverishly to edit a wedding), we opened all the doors and windows and lazed on our little balcony.  Best part of my day.
  

We talked about our one little tomato, and how mommy was going to do her best not to kill it.  We read "More Spaghetti, I Say!" and watched doggies walk by.  

After a little while, Anni requested to read by herself and I watched as she worked her way through books, telling me, "It a nice book, Mommy!" when was done and, "Get 'nother book, Mommy!" as she raced to her room.  I folded clothes on the couch just inside and smiled at how much I love moments just like that.  Peace and overwhelming joy in something so mundane.  I daydreamed a little about wanting a house with land and a big wraparound porch until Anni (strongly) requested bubbles.  Today, Miss Anni actually managed to blow a few bubbles!  Very exciting for a little girl who asks for them around the clock.

After a little while, we moved onto pizza dough (and another outfit change after Anni helped knead the dough) and playing hide and peek with extra t-shirts.

 Really, I couldn't ask for me.  I mean, sure, there are things I want... but need?  Nope, I've got it all right here.

Leavin'

Things have been a little quiet around here, I know.  We've been packing, planning and preparing for our Ireland trip.  We made the decision midway through the planning process that we weren't going to bring Anni with us.  I cringe a little every time I say that, like the other person is going to assume I'm an awful mother for leaving her.  Luckily, she'll be in the infinitely capable and loving hands of my mama, a woman I would trust more quickly than myself in an emergency.  She won't have to deal with 13 hours of travel and a significant time change and she will be surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents who adore her.  But still, it's important to me that she feels as loved as possible, so I've been trying to be truly present.  We've gone on more walks this week, and done a lot more cuddling.  Daniel and I have stayed up singing her favorite songs on video, so that even when she can't reach us during this next week, she can see us if she needs it.  I'm allowing myself this mommy guilt, I think it's motivating to make sure I read her the extra books, sing the extra songs and cuddle as much as I can, so her little love tank is full up when we get on that plane.  However, I'm also reminding myself that it's okay to be beyond excited to be heading to Ireland.  I mean, guys (gals?), I'm going to IRELAND!  Daniel and I have dreamed of traveling abroad together since we started dating (he had just finished a semester in Italy at the time), and this is our first shot at it.  We were beyond blessed that we know an amazing family living in Dublin who are taking us in during our trip.  We have another friend coming with us and fulfilling her lifelong dream of visiting the land of her ancestors... it's kind of a trip all about fulfilling dreams.  And will I miss my baby?  YES!  I think that's good, and I think we're both going to come out better than okay in the end.

Until next time and the inundation of green, green pictures... love you all!

Last Thursday it started snowing... and it snowed and snowed and snowed.... for nearly 48 hours.  I could tell you I have awesome snowy pictures, but I don't.  Anni and I stayed in our pajamas and tried to stay warm while crossing our fingers that Daddy would have a snow day (he did, well, he worked from home, but we just love having him around).  On Saturday, we made the trek up to Greeley to spend the weekend celebrating Daniel's dad's birthday (yes, we watched the Super Bowl... er commercials as well). 

Anni's baby is still a constant companion; though, one of her blankets has joined the favored ranks and has be dragged out of bed every morning.

You probably don't know this, but my husband is kind of an amazing musician.  He's played the piano for the better part of his life and kind of rocks at it.  Unfortunately, there's no way a piano is going to fit in our apartment... so we dug out his guitar from high school and he and his dad took turns serenading us on it.  Man with an acoustic guitar and father of my baby?  *swoon*

Our baby is sweet, wonderful... really just about everything you could wish for in a nearly- two year old... but she has recently got the tantrums down.  (I promise I wasn't neglecting her here... she is definitely not the toddler that needs to be comforted to finish her rages, she needs to be ignored so she can forget why she was sad... intervention tends to escalate things, I've learned.)

The crazy hair?  Because "tailies" only last so long.  We did a whole lot of singing.  Anni's attempt at the hand motions to the itsy bitsy spider make me smile every time.  This is me doing the parental gush.  ohmygoodnessshessocuteandsmart

But really, lots of fun.  All weekend, we could hear Anni singing and humming to herself throughout the day.  Daniel's mom told us that his preschool teacher always knew where he was because he was always making some form of music. 

Every once in while, I get these brief little glimpses into who our baby is going to be... really who she is that I haven't even realized yet.  I get that little shiver that tells me to hold this second, this one right here, of her giggling on Daddy's back and being obsessed with her coat and Nonna's cane.  There's no going back.

I wish I had better words sometimes... that I could weave together my quiet thoughts throughout the day into something recognizable.  I read people's lives, stories that make me laugh and weep until Anni toddles over and pats my back, making sure I know she loves me.  I guess I don't have anything fascinating to say.  I work, I raise a baby, I love my husband (in a variety of orders).  I'm sick, and they'll light up my thyroid next week like one of those glow sticks in a rave so they can take pictures and tell me why I'm sick.  But I'm not that sick.  I'll defer treatment until after Ireland if I need to, because I want to go, and I think that's okay. 

I think I'm learning, that maybe I won't say anything that means anything for a long time, but I'm soaking in other mommas' wisdom and hoping that I can love like my loved ones deserve.  Because, my dear loved ones, you truly deserve to be loved and cherished with every last drop I have. 

Happy Week, my friends!

Stream of Consciousness

 

I'm a little on the scattered side of things today.  Prepare for an entry along the same lines. 

Anni's big Christmas present came in a big box.  The perfect place to color to her little heart's content.  It's the first time I've really seen her going to town with the crayons... I kind of love it.

One day we just decided to decorate.  Our tree is a little bit on the Charlie brown side of things.  Why, you ask?  Because the first year we put it away, we somehow lost a leg and each year after we've tried to compensate for it with heavy books to balance the tree out.  This year, we had to graduate to bricks... except those bricks broke off another leg.  Now our tree is leaning against the wall, waiting for a new stand.

But some pretty bokeh fixes that, right?

On Sunday we drove four hours through the mountains to Mesa State University to watch a friend play percussion in their Christmas concert.

The view made the drive totally worth it.

And this little girl?  Was a total trooper.  We remembered the baby this time, and she cuddled and "shushed" her to sleep.

She very briefly stayed in her seat to watch the show... but a good portion of the time we sat outside the doors and she clapped as the performers ran out to get ready for the next part of the show.  However, she did fall asleep near the end, so both Daniel and I got to watch Erika work her magic as she ran from instrument to instrument.

 

You can see her in the very back middle peeking over the rest of the band.  It was a lot of fun!

After a rather large dinner, we made the four hour drive back home, admiring the same mountains in the moonlight.  It was beautiful.

end scene.

All about Anni

I know I've been away.  Miss Anni and I just spent a week with my family in Kansas... trying to do a little rest and relaxation, as well as be there for my beautiful sister's first craft fair while my hubby took a business trip.  We had a wonderful time, but I admit to still feeling a little overwhelmed with life.

How do you deal with the overwhelming demands of motherhood, being a wife, business and life in general?  I think I need some new coping mechanisms... and we're going to start with a little update on my sweet little one.  Yesterday marked 17 months since her birth, so I just want to revel in her little personality for a few minutes.

Nugget has definitely gotten the hang of walking.  She tends to do it at full speed with her arms in the air, yelling "Go, go, go!" or "Yaaaaaay!"  She's also picked up the "Go Big!"  of "Go Big Red!"  after spending a week with hardcore Cornhusker fans.  She is still a little unsteady, especially when she demands to walk on our jaunts outside, but I can't really blame her, I still trip over my own feet.

Our gal has hit the sorting phase.  It's pretty awesome.  These buttons keep her happily entertained and were especially helpful when I had to run out to a meeting and my mom watched her.  I love watching her little self busily at work sorting and thinking through what she's going to dump, pour and sometimes throw next.  She likes to sort other things as well (drawers full of paper, books and kitchen supplies), but this is probably the easiest to keep contained and takes up very little space.

This girl has a very distinct personality, and I love discovering all of its little facets.  She has very distinct body language for "shy" (a little chin dip and tiny smile while she keeps her eyes on the new person) as well as "nervous" (holding her wrists and plucking at her clothes a little).  She also has a wide array of smiles, some of which I haven't quite figured out yet (can a 17 month old have a sarcastic smile?).  As wonderful as it is to watch her grow, I also have to admit to being scared stiff that I will mess it up.  She is such a beautiful little soul and I'm a new mommy, just trying to figure all of this out.  My dad reminded me this weekend that he still didn't have it all figured out.

  
Anni got to spend a lot of time with her cousin, Charlie, and she loved it!  He was amazingly patient with her and she just wanted to follow him around and make sure she could pat his head whenever she wanted.  I love getting to see her love others.

We find her in some interesting positions as her flexibility lets her stretch beyond that of a normal toddler.  Even the normal toddler squat stretches into a little froggie pose.   Oh, and speaking of body parts (great segue right?), she knows a whole lot of hers.  She can point to her belly button, mouth, nose, eyes, ears, hair, feet and hands (well, she just wiggles the feet and hands, but she knows what they are).  Isn't it amazing watching little ones learn?

Oh, and we can't forget the temper tantrums.  She has a good scream on her and likes to instantly alert us to things that are not going her way.  We're working on it :).  

 
Sweet Anni, I love watching you grow!