Pruning

2015 has already been a year of announcements: babies, engagements, moves, and exciting changes for so many people. I don't have anything exciting to share, but I did spend part of today "trimming" the lilac bush right by our back door while the girls enjoyed the almost warm weather. By trimming I mean, I'm working my way to hacking the thing down to six inches, because it needed some serious pruning. It's beautiful, but in the summer it blocks half of the steps coming out of the house into the backyard and interrupts my view from the kitchen window to the patio area. So while I hope it survives my brutality, I'm also welcoming the breathing room it's going to give us.

Sometimes, I feel the same way about my life: the desire to strip away everything and start at the beginning, or at least, with the basics. I often feel so far from where I want to be, from where God wants me to be. I think that desire is God's way of reminding me that the center, the root of my life needs to be in Him, and all the other stuff is just getting in the way if I'm not focusing on that. I think that may be the focus of this year, letting God trim (or hack away, as may be necessary) all those things that distract me from my vocation, and from Him.

While I was at SEEK the first few days of this year, there was a schedule packed with amazing speakers and events. I got to hear snippets and the entirety of several talks as I flitted from room to room to get the shots I needed. I heard a lot of incredible things, and even plan on going back to listen to more when I'm able (because my husband is awesome and bought the talks so we could listen to them when we aren't working like crazy).

That being said, there was a singular event of those five days that truly moved my heart and brought things into focus for me: adoration with 9300 people on their knees worshiping Christ in the Eucharist. Not only was it one of those moments where, if we allow it, our hearts leap in joy at being in the presence of the True Presence, but it was a beautiful representation of the truly universal Catholic church and a reminder of something I think we all long to be reminded of: You are not alone. The diversity of emotion can probably only be imagined, but I'm sure there was not only joy, ecstasy, and excitement, but also fear, confusion, and anxiety in those thousands of hearts that night. I know a recent catchphrase is "You are enough." This in itself is such a salve to so many souls, but I want to add to it. "I don't have to be enough, because You, God, are enough."

Here's to a year of bringing things back to where they belong, to stripping out the excess and the distractions, to a year of hope.

Halloween Adventures

It's funny how extensive our Halloween festivities became... especially as I kept mentally declaring that I must not be much of a Halloween girl.  Having Anni makes me put a lot more effort into holidays... who doesn't love creating something just a little bit wondrous and magical for a toddler to gasp and say, "Oh, wow, I yike that!"

We started the day off as all good days should begin... a favorite dinosaur shirt and a mid-morning cookie shaped like a big ole pumpkin.  We decided to skip neighborhood trick-or-treating for a variety of reasons (possibly super scary costumes/decorations in an unfamiliar neighborhood most likely wouldn't be a joy for a little girl who takes after her mommy with a bit of a shy and introverted personality).  She did snag a piece of candy from a neighboring apartment's bucket outside their door, but, don't worry, we had several days of fun ahead.

Miss Anni was St. Kateri Tekakwitha this year.  She was pretty excited about the fringe and how it swayed when she danced in circles.  (I have a feeling she'll have more of an opinion on her costume next year... I can't wait to hear her ideas!)

She was pretty proud of her costume and even more excited to hear she'd get to see other kids in their costumes on Friday (my hubby's office had an All Saints Day party a day late since they close the office for the actual day... how can you not love that).
 

We got all dressed up to show Daddy, spent a little time cuddling pumpkins, dancing on the porch, and taking off whatever got in the way (necklace, headband, you know, things like that).

And at last, Daddy was home!  This is still one of Anni's favorite parts of the day (mine, too)!  She hears the key in the door and immediately runs, headlong, for the door, yelling, "Daddy!"  We got started post haste on the pumpkin carving while our pizza baked (yep, she didn't really get candy, so we obviously made up for those health benefits by buying the "jack o'lantern pizza" of which she pulled off the olive eyes just to figure out what they were).

Anni was mostly interested in painting her little pumpkins, but took a break occasionally to pull out a single pumpkin seed and say, "Ta-da!  I got it!" 

Even the pumpkin painting was pretty epic.  Anni has never, ever, ever willingly touched paint with her fingers, but something about paint on pumpkins was a whole new ballgame!  She was still pretty delicate with it, but it was a lot of fun to see her enjoy the messiness a little. 

Our jack-o-lantern was about as simple as it gets (I'm pretty proud of my mouth carving skills), which works out well as Anni has enjoyed pointing out all of the triangles on the face.  (We didn't know she knew what a triangle was until our pumpkin carving adventure... what a fun surprise!)

We then combined two of Anni's favorite things: candles and pumpkins.  She was in awe.  I love how much this little girl makes me take pause and really notice things.  Maybe I put more effort into holidays with her because she helps me recognize how important it is to stop and take notice and make things special.

Either way, I'm just glad we have her.

While there are no photos (yet), we spent All Saints Day (Nov. 1) hanging out with Daddy!  We made it to Mass and managed to get our family photos taken.  I'm still impressed that the latter happened as we were rushing out the door, into rush hour traffic, my makeup box in my lap, and all still a little unsure as to our outfits, despite the hour of texting pictures to our costuming friend for approval.  Fortunately, we did it... and I'm hopeful we're going to love them, because we couldn't get a sweet photog friend to document our sweet little family.

Whew!  I'm almost too tired to make it through today's explanations.  As I mentioned, Daniel's office had a little All Saints Day party/ trick-or-treating a day late.  We grabbed a photo before the mayhem began; though, the poor kiddos were mostly confused as to why they weren't heading out to the offices for some yumminess.  We tried to make it quick :). 

I'm glad we saved Anni's trick-or-treating for the office.  While she was still pretty quiet, she snuck in a few smiles and "twick or tweats".  It helped that we were in a place she knows well (we visit Daddy pretty often for Mass and lunch dates), with people who are about as sweet and gentle as can be. 

After making the rounds, she was determined to, "work wewwy hawd!" at Daddy's desk, before we managed to tear ourselves away (we really, really like visiting Daddy at work).  She even fell asleep on the way home and only woke up when I put in her bed to demand a band-aid for her knee before passing out for several hours.  Since this little chickadee averages maybe one nap a week, it was obvious that the last few days had worn her out.  Her rather pregnant mama quite enjoyed a little nap as well... keeping up with our schedule this week has worn me out as well!

Cor Unum

I'm going to be a little honest here, I was not looking forward to Cor Unum.  Well, I wasn't upset about going, I just remembered how overwhelming it had been the year before with Anni crawling and people and headshots and heat...  just, a little much for an anxious mom.  Don't worry; though, this year was much, much different... mostly because neither Daniel nor I was there to work.  We were at veteran staff training last year and I spent something like 6 hours every day taking head shots.  It was a lot of fun to meet so many missionaries, but I think I'm a little relieved that I wasn't able to do it this year.   The point is, my dear friends: Cor Unum was awesome.

 It was a retreat of sorts with all kinds of time built in for fellowship (and free babysitting so couples could hold hands and go to talks and do beautiful things like that) for FOCUS staff.  Well, there was babysitting if your little one was willing to go to group babysitting in the morning.  Anni declared after the first hour on the first day that that was so not happening.  However; she did just fine with a babysitter in the evenings (most likely helped by the fact that she was sleeping), so there was plenty of hand holding and walking through the quad to be had.  I can't really blame her, she was away from home and constantly out amongst a whole bunch of people she either didn't know or only vaguely recalled (a lot of people got called "Zana", Brigie, Jimmy or Aunt Kaekee the first day) when her days are generally just her and me, hanging out.     

There were talks in the mornings (after a breakfast I didn't plan, cook or clean up from), followed by a lunch (that, again, didn't have to lift a finger for... cafeteria's are so exciting sometimes!), sometimes naptime, fellowship (can you say photo scavenger hunt?  I was a skeptic but totally loved it), Mass and dinner.

Mass, oh, Mass.  It was really wonderful to get to go to Mass everyday; however, Mass was generally at 4 or 5 and, well, Anni was not at her best.  It was the end of a long day with not quite enough sleep and once she hit her "done" point, Miss Anni just screamed.  Sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes because she could hear her voice echo.  We either worked with it, one of us swaying in the back or, on the one day that Anni had dissolved into tears and I was near that point... we decided not to fight the battle and let her run off some energy in the cafeteria.  Luckily, we know God understands... especially since it wasn't a Sunday Mass.  Sometimes you have to choose your battles.  We were in pretty good company in the back the other days: I'm pretty sure every parent had to make a trip back there at some point (and some, like us, rarely left).

After Mass on Thursday, we took a school bus right over to a nearby park for a big ole party.  I always thought school buses were the coolest because our school didn't have buses (and if they had, we still would've walked the less-than-a-mile to school).  Anni thought it was pretty fun, especially since she had a buckle and could peek around the seat to find me (her daddy shared the seat with her.)

At the party, it was obvious it had already been a long day... and this little sweetheart was getting a catnap before the music started.

They thought of just about everything at this party.  There was food (poor Baby, Anni's doll, took a face plant in the mac n' cheese, which Anni is still talking about a week later) and fellowship... it was great to get time to meet some other missionary families that are working across the country!

Bouncy castles?  Check!  Anni LOVED her first time in one... especially as they had a "big girl swide!"  She was pretty devastated when we had to get out to let more people play; but, luckily, there was music to dance to just across the bridge!

And by music I mean the most amazing Cajun band you'll ever hear: L'Angelus.  The four oldest in the family form the band, and when the younger ones are around, they'll occasionally hop on stage to show off a little.  They play a mix of swamp pop, oldies, originals and cajun classics.  It was a great night with awesome music, dancing, and yes, some good beer (or so Daniel tells me... if I admit I don't like beer, will you think less of me?).

We were definitely exhausted by the time we got back to our beds (did you know a mattress on the floor constitutes a perfectly acceptable ' big girl bed'?), but the next day came just as fast.  While Anni did struggle with Mass, she thought the Eucharistic procession was just fine and dandy: outside, Daddy carrying hre, lots of people to watch, yeah, this was a good thing.  It really was an incredible witness to our faith, and I love that we were able to include Anni in it.

Two of the three nights we had a babysitter listening for our sleeping girl, we went to talks.  The last night we were blessed to go to adoration... just. us.  I mean, we actually sang, prayed, sat in the stillness... all by ourselves.  God bless our babysitter and God bless Anni for being such an awesome little sleeper.

And then, well, we woke up the next morning, ate bacon, went to one last Mass, had an amazing friend drive us two and a half hours back to the airport (with a stop at Portillos, um... yum).  And that was that.  It was a great trip, but we were definitely excited to be home in our own beds.  I have three weddings this June, so we're in for a bit of a bumpy ride before things calm down again.  Until next time...
 

FOCUS Training... and our family

I have been a travelin' fool the last few weeks... so I need to backtrack just a little to fill you in.  The last you heard from us, we were at FOCUS Staff training.  We had a fun little schedule that worked quite well for us. 

We got up in the morning and ate breakfast with the other missionaries.  Anni loved when we sat with other families so she could watch all of the kids.  She loves other little kids and very frequently lets our her most adorable, "Hiiiii!"  when she sees them.  

Then, while everyone headed to adoration, we would go set up for the head shots I took all afternoon, take a little walk as a family and make sure to get Miss Antonia a nice long morning nap (um, and oftentimes Mommy, too.  I was consistently exhausted.)  Daddy tended to run errands or actually run during those naps.  There is only so much you can fly with... so a few runs to the store were in order for some basics for the week.    

 

Then, it was on to headshots.  As you can see, Anni was quite helpful in getting everything set up.  But really, my dear, darling Daniel was the rockstar that helped me figure out tethered shooting and toted all the equipment around.  He rocks.

Daniel also did a little video shooting, and although the setup is slightly different this is where we shot all the headshots.  (We didn't use a green screen, obviously, but rather the FOCUS blue in the picture of Anni).  It's normally a music room, so the poor choir had to work around all of our stuff for the week. 

And in the afternoon while everyone was in class and we were done?  Anni would be halfway into her nap and I would veg with some netflix and a pillow... unless it was the day I had more photos to take... then I would do that.  Then, Mass with all the amazing missionaries. 

I loved it in there.  It was not only a beautiful chapel, but filled with so many people intent on the same mission.  Plus, there were always plenty of other mommies and daddies trying to keep their little ones in line, so we felt right at home when Anni pitched a fit because she couldn't rip apart a book. 

Then, we had the evening generally for dinner, walking and hanging out.  One night a lovely missionary that we went to college with sat in the room while Anni slept so that we could have some couples only time at the marriage retreat we attended (which was packed full of good, practical info - we loved it!). 

One night we explored the Student Union and found an art exhibit tucked away in back room.  My little art major's heart went pitter patter and Anni's little knees went pitter patter across the shiny floor.  (See her pointing at herself?  Cracks me up.)

 

We found time for our first pigtails ever, for Benedictine connections and to see dear friends and their sweet little boys, oh and of course of Anni and Daniel to come on a photoshoot for those same friends... and wander around a waterfall as they attempt to stay out of the back of my shots :).

Phew.  And to think, I left on a trip only a few days after that.  And we're leaving on another one this weekend.  I maybe, possibly, booked myself a little too solid this month.

Just maybe.