Babies and Boulder

Our baby loves her baby.  Last Thanksgiving, we meant to bring the baby, but somehow left her forlorn in our little apartment for the few days we were gone.  We didn't know how attached she was until she saw her cousin's doll and picked it up, saying, "Baby?  nooooo, baby!"  It was similar, but not her baby.  When we got home late at night, I brought her baby to her while she was taking a bath.  Her face lit up and she nearly lept out of the tub, shouting, "Baby!!!"  Baby has been at her side nearly all the time since then. 

She likes for the baby to do all the things she does and all the things she sees me do with the baby we watch.  She rocks her, carries her around in her overalls (not that I do that... think of it as baby wearing ;-)),  puts her in the high chair and shares her snacks with her.

She even brought her with us when we went to Boulder yesterday to visit a friend.  We weren't able to stay out long, because Anni has a bit of a cough that got nasty when she got worked up, but she loved, loved running up and down the hill while we ooh'd and ahh'd at the mountains (er... rock formations, supposedly these aren't technically mountains?  I'm not sure.)

Afterwards we settled in at Miss Sarah's house for a cup of tea and some music listening.  We really do have a good life.

I started nearly a dozen posts while Daniel was away... and each and every one died a neglected little death.  This one might, as well, if I don't spit it out and let it be imperfect as it may be.  My sweet little and I broke up our day with lunch, playdates and long walks to the park with friends.  Some hours were awesome, and some we had to drag ourselves through in hopes that we would both work off the crankiness.  The apartment isn't perfect, but it's actually pretty clean and shiny... evidence that I didn't have a hubby to hang out with in the evenings and that I need about 10 things to flit from when I'm working.  I had a lot of reflection time this weekend... which was good for me.  I got to think a lot about how necessary love is, especially in a discussion (heated or otherwise).  Anyway, that was random - I wasn't in any discussion like this, I just thought about it.

Moving on... a few pictures for this post. 

How lovely to have a friend so close!  We got to witness Miss Lucy's first time in a swing!  (That's my coat holding her up... unfortunately, Anni figured that if Mommy isn't wearing a coat... she didn't need to.  Despite that and some rather unfortunate trips, falls, and bloody lips, this trip was still a highlight of our rather cranky day.)

 
I loved that she loved pushing the stroller... until she veered left and pushed it off a lip in the sidewalk (who puts a lip on a sidewalk around a park?!, just a little angsty here).  This one didn't result in blood at least... just a very guilty feeling mommy.

The next day was our Boulder day with Miss Sarah.  I think Saturday was our best day as a whole.  It kind of helps that Anni was enthralled by one of the street musicians and that I've never been disappointed by the food or company when we head into town.  I think I could spend a few hours there every day and be happy.  There's so many fun performers (below?  A person dressed up as a ginormous dog.  Anni rather desperately wanted to touch it... while being freaked out.  Sarah and I coaxed her into and it made her pretty happy, until the thing - person - decided to sit up) and characters.  Plus... my crunchy side loves the organic food options.  
 



We took some time with some other FOCUS wives/mamas on Sunday, thought the rest of the day should probably be forgotten... lots of tears and exhaustion on both sides.  Today, we had a lovely low-key lunch with a dear friend (and cousin, actually!)  I love being reminded how beautiful, talented and dear my friends are.  I am such a homebody that sometimes it takes a daunting task like these four days to plan fun things and give my sweet some time out in the world.  Have I mentioned that single mothers/ mothers alone for long periods of time are freaking amazing?  Seriously, I know you do what you have to do, but know that my thoughts and prayers were for you this weekend when things seemed hard.  I could look forward to my hubby returning today, and that's not something everyone has.  This week holds my appointment... and hopefully a whole lot of sleep.

The end.  [just for now though]

but really.

Just us girls...

My beloved is leaving tomorrow, and Miss Anni and I will have four days to ourselves.  We're planning some fun things to help break up our day like daddy usually does.  As soon as he got home from work today (a little early to get ready for the trip), we rushed out into the sunshine for a quick trip to the park across the street.  My two dears made my heart ache a little.  I love them so much!

Have a great trip, dearest!

A whole new journey

Earlier in the week, I went to the doctor to get my blood drawn - not for anything specific, just to make sure my thyroid was functioning and all that good stuff.  We didn't worry too much as Anni's lazy eye worries stemmed from that appointment, leading us to a great diagnosis.  Later that afternoon, Anni went to hang out with some friends that live down the block, and I settled down to work.  As the afternoon waned, my phone rang with my doctor on the other line.  He informed me that I had hyperthyroidism (over-active thyroid) with the most likely cause being Graves' Disease.  Oh, and I should make a call to my favorite endocrinologist, if I had one (I would have laughed here if I hadn't been scared, close to tears, and trying to google what the hey I was diseased with).  He suggested an endocrinologist and proceeded to explain both hyperthyroidism and Graves' Disease to me (you'd be better off googling it than letting me explain it, but it isn't as bad as it sounds... Graves' disease is the worst name ever for a non-fatal disease).

So... this is why walking up two stairs or picking up my baby winds me so bad that I thought I must be REALLY out of shape (I probably still am, but this was bad).  I don't have the bulgy eyes as of yet; though... kind of hoping to avoid that.

So, yeah, I don't really know much at all of what I'm facing, but I know I'm not exactly thrilled.  I mean, sure, I wanted to know why I didn't feel all that well... but I kind of hoped it was something easy.  Who doesn't like easy?  It means putting off some plans, dealing with some medication...

but, let's be honest.

I'm not going to die (yet).

We ate ice cream to celebrate that (and Anni's lack of lazy eye).  I mean, sure, this could stink... probably will... but dying and leaving my family would suck worse.  So, congratulate me - I could feel a whole lot better soon, and I'm not dying.  You know, the good stuff. 

The Weepies - Somebody Loved

Daniel made a video for Anni's first birthday, and this was the first song on it.  Every time I watch the video or hear this song, I dissolve into a weeping mess.

The Lazy Eye Update

We left the house early this morning, early enough to watch the sun rise, so we could go have the children's eye doctor check out the Nugget's eyes for a possible lazy eye.  Luckily, we heard the phrase all parents hope for, "Perfectly healthy."  While we need to keep an eye on the possibility due to other family members having "ocular issues," she is exactly where she should be at her age.  No crazy far-sightedness that accompanies a lazy eye (most kids have a little at this age so they can grow into normal eyesight) and no real sign of one (they said sometimes it can appear that way at this age without really being there).  They said it's possible she has a bit of one sometimes, but at this level she should grow out of it just fine.  So, not only did we leave the office with a clean bill of health, we got Daddy to work on time (I'm so very grateful he came) and Miss Anni got stylish (above) sunglasses to wear out... she wore them all the way to the car and the ripped them off.  She did manage to put on her own with she realized that even the grey day was too bright with dilated eyes.

I'm okay with the fact that I was a nervous, worried wreck last night... I hope every doctor's visit goes this well (except for the writhing, screaming child when getting her eyes dilated, that we can skip).

Happy Friday!

PS My hiatus from facebook has been AWESOME!  I do miss some of the contact with my friends, but I've gotten so much work done... and done a whole lot less pointless surfing.  Not saying I don't procrastinate at all... just less.  Good to shake off that addiction.

Take a step back

This morning, Daniel left early to pick up a co-worker and we were barely awake at the same time.  While Miss Anni forked away at her eggs (have I mentioned she mostly feeds herself now?), I listened to the radio.  The traffic reporter started talking about really bad traffic and over one hundred accidents on the roads.  Well, tickle me white (?), there was snow just falling away outside.  Anni was going to spend the morning with a friend, but we decided not to brush the car off and stay in.  She stared out the window, pointing, and smiled as she said, "sNO!  sNO!  I wuv it!" 

I'm doing a lot of thinking today.  I don't think I'm the mom I want to be, and I think that's my fault.

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment to get some blood drawn and start down the road of figuring out some (currently minor) medical issues.  While we were there, our (amazing) doctor asked me if I knew that Anni had a lazy eye.

well...um... no?

He said he could be wrong but it looked like her right eye turned in a little bit when she looked at him.  He checked with the... eye-light-thingamajig, and gave us a reference for a children's eye doctor.  So, really, we don't know anything but possibilities (and the fact that my doctor is amazing for noticing that when we were there for me).  However, my family has a long history with glasses, eye patches and all things related to poor eyesight (except my oldest sister, she stole the good genes there).  To be honest, I hate the idea of changing anything about her little face, even just to put a pair of glasses or patch on it.  She's just perfect the way she is.  And I know we may not have to if we're lucky.  Moving past the wishing and hoping she wouldn't inherit the only genes she was given for her eyes (Daniel's eyes don't see too well, either), I spent the afternoon researching glasses that would fit on a 20 month (not a whole lot of luck yet) and hand-sewn eye patches that I could bribe my sister into whipping up (don't think I won't).  If these are the last few days we have an obstructed view of her sweet face, I'm just going to soak them up.  And if they aren't, at least I soaked up some extra beauty.

(PS I am entirely grateful for the vision glasses have given my family and may give Anni - just a little sad to see her moving into that phase so quickly.)  

 As far as being a better mother, well, I've got a great hubby who's willing to push me.  We're shutting off the Internet for a week starting tonight (it will be turned on for necessary work email etc, we do both have jobs to maintain ;-)) to remind ourselves that it's something we need to pare back.  I'm going to start having more plans for play with Anni... not necessarily because she needs it, but because it helps me to make our day better.  I didn't really make any New Year's Resolutions, but I think this would be it if I did, learning balance and working when I need to, but truly being the mom I want to be.
 

 

"I yike it!" or Anni's top three dance songs

My mama was here for a week and we just got back from dropping her off at the airport.  We need a little happy around here to balance out the sad.  Lately, Miss Anni has been all about the music.  Not only did she get a whole lot of instruments for Christmas from her Nonna and Papa, but she has some favorites for when the dance parties go down.

So, we have to start off with the song for when we break it down in the car.  Michael Grimm's Gasoline and Matches (this began as a favorite mainly because he says "Baby, baby, baby, baby!" and that's one of Anni's favorite words). 

 

And next is one I have to admit my little girl and husband introduced me to.  While Daniel grew up with Raffi... I had never heard of him until I was pregnant with Anni.  It is now a definitely favorite with Miss Anni.  I present: Mr. Sun with Raffi (most often sung by mommy and daddy).

   

For the most serious of all dancing, we have a very special song.  We discovered it when watching someone's slideshow and it has been THE dancing song ever since.  It's called Dedicate by Ian Britt (The first minute of the video shows him playing, though we usually listen from the link below the video... I haven't listened to the other 6 minutes of the video).

http://ianbritt.bandcamp.com/track/dedicate